


Always

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Implied Smut, M/M, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 07:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: Based on Imagine Dragons song I'm Sorry





	Always

Dean Winchester. Human - descended from a line of Men of Letters and Hunters. Protector of his race. Brave, strong, stubborn, beautiful, infuriating and courageous. That is how Castiel would describe him, but he also knew that wasn’t how Dean saw himself. Dean was flawed yes, and one of his many flaws was not seeing himself for who he was. Dean saw pain and mistakes. He built walls around himself, that didn’t come down for anyone easily, but despite his best efforts Cas saw all of him. He always had. From the second Castiel had pulled Dean from the fiery pits of hell, to the hours he had spent putting his broken body back together, Castiel had known him.

Every line, every freckle, every flaw, every beautiful mistake. Dean was hot headed and he said things he didn’t mean. Things that hurt the people around him, but Castiel knew as much hurt as he caused, his human felt it return tenfold. Dean loved with all of his heart. He blamed himself for every bad thing that has ever happened to the people he cared for. He saw himself as their protector. A role Castiel could relate too.

Castiel had been the humans guardian for a long time. He had been the Winchester’s guardian because he chose that role. He had become Dean’s best friend. Sam’s brother. And now after last night he was no longer sure what he was.

Castiel had mirrored himself in Dean for so many years. He had learned to understand the human emotions he had begun feeling through the hunter. He had learned how to feel love, loyalty, sorrow, pain… All of it he had learned from watching Dean. Now Dean seemed conflicted and that scared Castiel more than anything. For once in his life Castiel were sure. He was sure he loved Dean. He was sure last night had not been a mistake. He was sure he wanted it all. He wanted it with Dean. He loved his human body and soul, but he was scared because he also knew him so well.

There was no doubt in Castiel’s mind that Dean felt the same way about him, but the angel feared his hunter’s walls would win. The angel feared Dean would push him away, because loving someone so completely and deeply would make him vulnerable in a way he never had before. Castiel was so sure Dean would pick up his clothes and walk from the motel room not looking back.

Sons of absents fathers, man and angel always determent to do the right thing, even in spite of what everyone around them believed, guardians of the people they loved and the things they held dear. Castiel thought they were the same, he thought he knew Dean better than he did and that was probably the truth. Dean did get up without a word he did pull his boxers back on without as much as looking at Cas. He did start collecting his clothes before Castiel could no longer watch him. The angel looked down at the covers that were still hiding his naked body and he spoke barely above a whisper, so scared that one night would make him lose his best friend, his only family for good.

“I’m so sorry Dean…”

Castiel didn’t look up, because he couldn’t bear to watch the man he loved so much walk out of the room and his life, so he didn’t see the Hunter freeze. It wasn’t the words that made Dean stop it was the pain behind them. It was a pain he had wanted to spare the angel for. It was the reason he was leaving. Dean wasn’t good enough for Castiel, an angel of the lord. What he could ever see in someone as broken as him, Dean would never know, but the fact was he did. The pain in the angel’s voice spoke volumes of how much and Dean couldn’t leave. He couldn’t walk away no matter how much staying terrified him, he knew he had no choice.

So Dean dropped his clothes to the floor and in three long strides he was back on the bed, cupping Castiel’s face in his hands, forcing him to look at him. A sea of blue and green mixed into one as they couldn’t pull their eyes away once they locked.

“I am the one who is sorry Cas. Forgive me?” Dean pleaded and a small smile slide across the angel’s face. Never had Castiel been so happy to be wrong in his entire life and he leaned closer to the perfectly flawed man before him.

“Always,” Castiel promised making his smile mirror on Dean’s face as he repeated the angel’s word back to him before their lips collided in a sweet, tender kiss.

“Always.”


End file.
